Friday, January 16, 2009

1/15/08 Breaking News on Proof of Center of Universe Claim


I would like to put the whole "Center of the Universe" question to bed today. Yes, I know that it's somewhat controversial these days with Peter Greenberg trying to prove us all wrong, and I am content to know that Ashland is the Center of my own personal universe. However, I received word this week from my father, Frank Delano, of some interesting facts. It appears that scientists at Cambridge University in England are aware of Ashland's unique position. (This is a direct quote, honest) "As far as we know, Ashland is at the very center of the Universe. This has been confirmed by numerous tests and is taken as given by astronomers worldwide”, says George Becker who is a post-doctoral fellow in astronomy at Cambridge University in England where he's studying the history of the universe.

Now, who are you going to believe, Peter Greenberg, who will obviously say anything to sell a book, or George Becker who spends every living minute of his day studying the history of the universe at Cambridge University? Thanks Daddy. Wow, I love feeling vindicated!




There are two good opportunities to watch some basketball at Randolph-Macon this weekend. The RMC Women’s Team will play Guilford College this Friday, Jan. 16th at 7pm. Then on Saturday, they’ll play Emory & Henry at 4pm. All games are in the Crenshaw Gym and everyone gets a great view of the action.
Happy Birthday to Amy Flagg on January 30th!

Susan Tucker called me and said that she hadn’t gotten your Ashland Yearbook order yet, so please hurry up and get that in the mail! Write out your check for $65- remember, you can’t put a price on posterity- and send it to Susan at 718 South Center Street, Ashland VA 23005. You went to all that work to write your history, it would be a shame not to have your own copy.

By this time last year we had some flurries, so I am a bit disappointed at our lack of winter weather. Can’t someone with some connections order up 5 or 8 inches of snow? C’mon, Father Chris? Enough snow to close school, enough to find a hill and slide down it, and enough snow for it to stay for several days. Do you remember how quiet it is at night when there’s snow on the ground? That’s what I want. I want a fire in the fireplace, and the bright reflection of a moon shining on a soybean field covered in snow.

Well Ashland, you’re quiet these days. I know, I know- you’re still recovering from the holidays and focusing on your Variety Show rehearsals, but I know that people are still celebrating birthdays! I know that there must be some small victories that are being won everyday around here. Hey, Mr. Planner, Zack Robbins! The town calendar is like a sieve- there are holes all in it. Can’t you do something about that?

Call me with your Ashland news, party invitations, and ghost stories. You can reach me at 310-5320, or ashlandnews@gmail.com. Have a wonderful weekend!


No comments: